– Hi there! Welcome to Stanford Debate Society. I'm G.B. Thurston, from welcome committee.
– Hello G.B., I'm Frida Sylvestre.
– Oh, of course, Frida! Great. Erm... [looking to note pad] nice to finally meet you! Here, this is your welcome package, including name tag and access card. You'll need that for coming and going. We're really, really excited to have you with us!
– Well, thanks, but honestly, me being here feels awkwardly strange...
– Please, don't worry dear. You've been invited for a reason...
– You don't understand. I'm not the person you think I am...
– Aren't you Frida? [looking at name tag, looking at note pad, pointing with yellow pen]
– Yes that's me. What I'm trying to say is... After considering what's at stake, I can't do this... I can't be here and risk exposing myself...
– Erm... that's the whole point dear! To totally expose yourself, and shine in front of everyone!
– You don't listen to me [frantically agitated], I'm absolutely petrified! I feel I need to come clear about what I am, and I can't do that publicly. I thought I could, or just pretend or play along, but I can't. Sorry, I can't do that...
– Erm... do what, exactly?
– Expose myself, be authentic, people can't know, they wouldn't understand!
– I'm terribly sorry, I do not understand what you're talking about. What could be so risky about debating with other people?
– I might just confess in front of everyone...
– Erm... look, I've never assisted to any of your previous debates, but clearly, just to be here, on campus with us, you must have shown someone well connected about some oratory qualities... I mean Mr. Bourbonnet, who recommended you...
– Yes, I'm a qualified young adult orator, but this has nothing to do with that. I'm living a lie here, and I can't just go on with it anymore, that's it...
– Erm... okay [five seconds silence] okay, so let's start over. You're here upon recommendations from Mr. Bourbonnet who's saying you show promises and need to argue with better talents, right?
– In principle, yes...
– So, sorry to ask, but... what's wrong?
– Me, just me. I'm all wrong [bursting in tears and crying out loud] and I can't live a lie anymore! I just can't...
– Erm... tell me dear, what's going on exactly?
– I have urges tormenting me, I had those for years now. I'm almost twenty six, and I'm done living a lie [crying profusely]...
– O...kay... erm... tell me more, I'm intrigued...
– What if, while debating, I just slip, I just tell all that I am? What if then?
– Erm... slip... in what way?
– What if I tell everyone... how I love young boys?
– Young boys you say? Erm... young boys... how young?
– Twelve to sixteen.
– Oh! That's precise. And... erm... much too young, yes, even for you...
– You see? Ever since I was in middle school, I was attracted to them, and it never stopped. I feel trapped by my sexual urges, as those might potentially start spilling and splatting on everything else. I can't fight it anymore...
– Look Frida, erm... I love boys too, but boys my age you see... I understand you've been tempted, but have you ever...
– Oh god, no! Even then, I couldn't. Much less now... I know it's forbidden, but I can't shake it, boys that young, in bed, with me, this is all I keep thinking about... I've been obsessed with those thoughts for so long... I just can't hold myself together anymore, it's over my forces to resist again and again, now... I...
– Erm... okay, still you never acted on it, yes? It's just a fantasy, yes?
– [still crying] Yes, no, I never, yet, but... I'm such a fuck up... I'm so sorry [weeping]... My worst nightmare, the one I've been doing for years: I'm talking, in public, about anything, then I slip, I just say it, I love younger boys, I want to have sex with them, and I know it's so wrong...
– Yes it is, but it's all a fantasy, can't you see? It's a construct. And I believe you when you say this never happened. I do. And I can help you see things differently.
– [weeps] You can?
– Yes! I have fantasies too! And look, that's all there is, fantasies. Something that haunt's you, but most importantly, something you never act upon!
– Hum. What obsessive fantasy do you have? [drying tears]
– Making love outside on the freeway at rush hour, while cars don't move, on the pavement, on the dotted line, for all to see... That's a major kick for me, to have sex in public, in front of people that can't look elsewhere, fully aware... But to me, the urge to act on it, or more specifically, to talk about it, has nothing to do with what you've just demonstrated...
– Well G.B., that's all nice and dandy, and thank you for showing such candour and empathy, as you've just been pranked, sorry.
– [ten seconds silence] Where did that came from? [G.B. looking lost]
– Some close, common friends, and I'm now a bit richer for it. Let me introduce myself again, Frida, social hacker.