G.B.T's journal, August 14th, 2025
To me, coming from you, friend is a four letter word. Even if you're really friend to nobody, beside some misplaced appreciation toward your own reflected image. Especially when you make people dance to your preferred tune. Cringe alert: I've seen you dancing, it was beautifully sad and underwhelming. Nevertheless, people will dance with you. They might even pretend having some fun. Fear will do that to most.
You want to eat cake while keeping cake money. And you seem greatly infatuated by your own self. No doubt you're totally aroused by the effect you think you have on people. I do realize this wasn't always the case. As much as you're the boss of many, you primarily act as a cult leader, with troubling gangster tendencies. You crave all the attention, you love to steal the spotlight, and you voluntarily throw a giant shadow at everyone else. I see all that.
As an older pale man in this world, I know I could have been something like you, if presented with circumstances like yours. I was lucky enough to encounter great challenges and difficulties, things I couldn't overcome all by myself. I often had to call for help just to keep going. I couldn't just dodge every bullet and bend all the rules. And I didn't come from money. I'm not saying I'm better or worse than you. Merely saying I could have been something like you, as I'm a lot like you already.
And that's where the drama lies, right there. Down here, older pale men like us have it all. We own the place, and what we don't own, we control anyway. We built the modern world as a series of giant traps crisscrossed through infinite loops, and we milk anyone falling for it. Which is ultimately everyone. We pretend like we mimic the natural order of things, while acting absolutely unnatural. But you already knew all about that, didn't you, as the giant trap keeper you are?
As you're really nothing but a hot pile of mortgage bills, you wish interest rates would go down, just to save you some. Because helping yourself is really your main thing. You want it all, then you have nothing. As you never leave money on the table. As you're absolutely insatiable. You know no limit. You're banal, nothing special or original, you're just like others looking remotely like you. Worse, you're just like me. We destroy everything we touch as we grow larger, like cancers. Now the planet is terminally ill because of sick bastards like us.
The writing is on the wall. For all to see. But that's just invisible nonsense to you. It could have been written in Chinese for all you care. That's why I'd never deal with the kind of you, even if required by law, especially under duress. I'd be insufferable to you, on purpose. Because the only person I love and hate more than you is myself. But we have so much in common. We could have been friends or brothers: the most insufferable pair on Earth. Because to you, coming from me, friend is a four letter word.